So apparently talking about things really does make it better. I'm still not ready to twirl around on a mountain top singing "...the hills are alive with music..." but I don't feel so...stuck.
After writing my previous post I had gotten together with my friend for our Tuesday evening craft session but since we are not a 'handy' household the only saw I could find was one for metal tubing which surprisingly does not hold up when trying to cut wood...go figure...so we were at a stand still in our current project and decided drinking tea and talking was a better use of our time. She jokingly said that it was 'deep thought Tuesday' because she wanted to reflect on some life decisions, not realizing that I actually was completely ready to go deep.
Once I had talked through my situation and how I'm currently torn as to the why, she suggested that I should just take one day at a time and not beat myself up about being in said rut. So that's what I'm doing right now. Rather then be ashamed of my procrastination and getting mad at myself for not accomplishing everything that I want to do, I am making a daily list of tasks that needs to be done and doing things one at a time. Simple I know.
We also discussed good habits and will power, or more so how people like me continuously fall off the wagon. They say it takes 20 days to form a habit but they don't mention how easy it is for some people to 'forget' that habit with only ONE bad day. My husband is the complete opposite of me, when he decides to do something he does it. It becomes part of his routine and he won't waiver...technically I think he's slightly OCD so waivering from said routine would probably cause him to have a stroke, so no one is perfect.
But regardless of the fact that 'good' habits don't come easy to me I still recognize that I should be doing them. One of those is healthy eating. I want to create and follow a weekly meal plan for health, convenience and frugality but currently cooking dinner is a chore for me, mainly because my husband decided that it WAS my household chore where as he looks after the cat litter, vacuuming and bathrooms. He will not step into the kitchen without making a huge fuss regardless of the fact that I have mentioned countless times that I never agreed to this delegation of 'chores' and that although I love cooking and entertaining I would like to do it WITH him to make it fun on a day to day basis. He doesn't get it.
I think if I could have a partner in crime to get together with once a week to plan out a weekly menu, go grocery shopping and prep some of the meals it would motivate me and well...make it fun. Ideally I would want that person to be my spouse and I am trying to pull him in (I've requested that he come up with food that he would like to eat this month) but I don't think I'm going to get the ideal. This is where I miss my best friend who use to do things like this with me but since we are no longer talking I need to step up and be independent.
Any ideas on how to make weekly meal planning fun, to help me stick to it?