Currently I'm contemplating what is really important to me and what is actually something that is appropriate to put on it, as in - "Do I have control over it?" (Saying "Get pregnant by X years" isn't a fair goal when I can't control how that pans out, I can only try...) or "Is it too soon?" (Can I really start writing goals for myself that involve being a parent when I'm not actually pregnant? Is that kinda jumping the gun?!....Don't get me wrong those goals are already listed in my head, I just think that saying it out loud or posting it to a blog may being crossing a line, then again I had a blog dedicated to my wedding years before I was engaged so "Hello Pot, I'm Kettle"...).
One goal that I've struggled with in the last 10 years, or probably more accurately since I hit puberty, is my weight and corresponding body image. I use to say that I want to be 135 lbs and then I came to realize that it wasn't the number so much as how I felt about myself and looked in my clothes. I fluctuated between 150-170 for 5 years now and shortly before my wedding I stopped going to my morning personal training sessions (the company I work for owns a performance gym that trains professionals and as staff I attend for free) because of stress and limited time while planning. I meant to go back after the wedding but then when I got pregnant so quickly I worried that the intense workouts wouldn't be good for me so I decided to do aqua fit and walk instead. And then when that ended as quickly as it started I have been in a weird limbo stage. At first I didn't want to start only to have to quit as soon as I got pregnant again, assuming that it would happen quickly as well but as we are seeing now, 'quickly' seems to be out of the question for me know and I need to focus on other things or I will start driving myself insane with the "maybe it'll happen today" obsessions. So not going to the gym is now marked up to laziness. No other excuses left. I haven't found the motivation to crawl out of bed earlier then I absolutely have to so I can't make it to the gym.
This needs to change. I am reinstating my goal of living healthy and attaining my ideal body weight.
Below is the vision board I created a few years ago to motivate me to reach my goals. I've checked off three that I feel I've accomplished and circled four that I want to focus on for the new year/immediate future. The other three I feel are more appropriate for a my life list of things I one day would like. (Sustainable home would be a retirement thing since we JUST purchased a new home)
So I think my current goals are:
- Create an organized, uncluttered life at home and work.
- Live a healthy life (clean eating + exercise = reaching my ideal body image)
- Invest in time at home doing projects like sewing, starting my own garden and other hobbies.
I honestly believe that if I wasn't so rushed in the morning I would accomplish a lot more and would be healthier and happier. This would mean I could do yoga first thing in the morning, eat breakfast with D and make sure I always leave for work with my lunch packed and in my hand. I will also no longer be LATE for work.
Here's to step one in attaining my goals!