I find it interesting that when you put something 'out there', an idea of sort, it starts popping up all around you.
When I first started looking for articles on friendship and 'breaking up' last summer I really didn't find that much in my google searches. I thought that it was annoying that you could read at great lengths articles on dealing with grief and stress of loosing a 'loved one' but that it ultimately referred to your significant other or close family member. Looking for stuff on friendship was either directed at teenage girls or obsolete. I started thinking that I must be the ONLY one that cared about loosing a best friend or perhaps the only one that actually LOST her bff.
I realize I am not unique, that this happens all the time, but when you don't hear anyone else talking about these issues its easy to start thinking you are alone.
But then I stumbled on to the book MWF seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche, and subsequently her blog. She doesn't so much as talk about a breakup that she's experienced but about the trouble with finding a NEW best friend while in her late twenties. Very interesting to me, so I bought the ebook and am slowly reading it.
Today my sister-in-law sent me a link to a Winnipeg Free Press article, "It's over - It can be as tough to break up with a friend as breaking up with a lover" by Joanne Laucius which references Rachel Bertsche as well as others' opinions on friendships and why they end.
I think one of the most telling points made in this article, which sums up what I've come to realize about friendship is this:
"Breaking up with a friend, either as the breaker or the breakee, can be just as painful as a romantic split, says Irene Levine, a psychologist, friendship blogger at Psychology Today and author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend.
We asked Levine about the nature of friendship and breaking up with friends.
Q: We have this idealistic idea that "good" friendships last a lifetime. Is that true?
A: People read novels, watch TV sitcoms, and see movies like Sex and The City that provide a mythical picture of friendships. The large majority of friendships, even very good ones, don't last forever."
As I mentioned in my last post, I have decided that I have a warped sense of what a great friendship should be like based on the fictional characters I follow. I need to work on being more grounded and having realistic expectations.
I am fully aware that I have amazing women in my life that I can confide in and it is not necessary for me to depend on one women to fulfill all of my friendship requirements. My new goal is to maintain diversification in my friendships. I think I'm doing quite well.
That being said... I'm still looking for my Sunday Brunch bestie...